yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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