fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Randomize
