Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she smelled like a LAN party
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
