definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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