I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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