is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
