is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
