fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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