I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
