Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
