The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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