imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
