dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
