she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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