dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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