Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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