You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
