I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am one with the molecules
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
