The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
