Soap is not a condiment
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
