It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Someone shattered a urinal.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
