Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
