Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
