Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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