Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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