dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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