I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
