just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
