Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
