I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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