Plan B is the new Plan A
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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