dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize