let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
