garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
