i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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