Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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