No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
