She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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