His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
