If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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