Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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