I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
