i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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