dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
