i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
