Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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