I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
