Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
