I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize