Well douche your snatch and let's go!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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