At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize