Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
