Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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