Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
