so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
