His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize