Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
