You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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