Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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