She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
