oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
