So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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