Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
