Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize