I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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