JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
