just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize