I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
