i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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