..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
