garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
