Don't you send me to vm
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
