What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
