Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
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