wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize