Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
