Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
