Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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