help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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