Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize