There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
