all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize