I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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