he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
