she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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