I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
