So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
