She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
